Barry's Disappointment
by lateVMlover
Summary: This is a one shot covering episodes 2.08 and 2.09, the winter finale. It gives the internal perspective of Felicity, Barry, and Oliver. Olicity is implied but not overtly stated just like on the episode! Dialogue taken from the show.


**The winter finale of **_**Arrow**_** was full of so much great pathos and emotion that I decided to write this one shot over the two part finale. I know the fanboys are all a twitter about the action and big bad reveals, but us Olicity lovers were equally over joyed at all the great Olicity moments crammed into one delightful episode. This is my first**_** Arrow**_** story. I hope you like it!**

Barry's Disappointment

*****_Felicity's P.O.V****_

Felicity's days and nights and everything in between were filled with Oliver Queen. Between her job as his Executive Assistant in the day time and her work for him as the Arrow, all of her waking hours seemed to revolve around him. Even in sleep, he was her focus because she dreamed of him. Sometimes she had erotic fantasies brought on by too many times watching him work out shirtless. Other times she had nightmares of him getting hurt or killed. Only on rare occasions did she dream about him happy and at peace. She never knew she would turn into one of those women who gave so much to a man, especially a man that was neither her lover nor her husband. Yet she couldn't bring herself to regret it. She was a part of something that was important. When she began her career in computer science, she hoped she would help make people's lives easier. She wanted to be an asset to the company that had taken a chance on her straight out of school. But she never dreamed she'd make a difference or that her job would literally save lives.

So she didn't resent how much time Oliver took up. She never regretted the day she found him bleeding to death in the back of her car. Not for one moment. But a part of her knew that she had to be open to other people, especially other men, because she served a particular function in Oliver's life. A function that was valued and necessary to him, yet he would never see her as more than a useful tool or a friend. She would never allow herself to believe that she could ever be anything more than what she was. Allowing herself to believe anything else would only lead to heartbreak. Since she had personally met more than one woman that was a casualty of loving Oliver, she didn't want to fall into that trap. At least that's what she told herself almost daily.

Meeting Barry Allen seemed like a chance to show herself and Oliver that she could have something more. She could allow another man to be important to her. He was very cute and funny. He was brilliant. There was an immediate attraction between them. Learning about his tragic childhood showed her that he, too, was just a little bit broken. So she did something she'd never really done before. She stood up to Oliver. She fought for Barry. And Oliver listened.

A formal party at the Queen's was not her idea of a good time. How many ways could she embarrass and humiliate herself in one evening? But Oliver showed her something he rarely showed to anyone: his sweetness. He invited Barry simply because he knew Felicity liked him. Not even his dig about Barry's age could mar her joy at their perfect evening.

However, it was hard to focus on Barry when her concern for Oliver and her fear for his safety began to eclipse everything else. He died right in front of her yet again. This time, though, she took a gamble. A gamble on Barry. Somehow she just knew that he would be the one to stop death from claiming another victim in Starling City. He'd not let her down.

But Oliver didn't appreciate it. He gave her a betrayed look that pierced her heart.

"That wasn't your secret to tell!" he yelled at her. For one short moment, guilt filled her. Then she pushed it aside. She was _not _going to apologize for saving his life! To save him, she'd risk anything, even his anger or his sense of betrayal.

She reminded him of the previous extreme circumstances that had compelled him to reveal his identity to both her and Digs. When he informed her that he hadn't just come to her out of desperation but it had been a calculated risk, she felt both happy and sad. Happy that he'd been thinking of adding her to his team even before necessity had forced his hand. She felt sad as she finally understood how her actions with Barry had hurt him.

Unexpectedly, Barry took up for her, surprising both her and Oliver. It was nice that he'd done so. Yet she couldn't help but wish Oliver and she weren't at odds. Not over this.

He started having hallucinations. Finally, Oliver admitted it wasn't just Sara on that island with him.

Of course, Oliver Queen playboy extraordinaire would have a harem even on a supposed deserted island. Felicity didn't think Sara and Oliver had been lovers on the island. Sara hadn't give off that vibe when she'd been in town. However, Felicity would bet good money that Shado was another lover.

"Shado. Sara. How many women were you marooned with? Sure this wasn't Fantasy Island?" she asked snidely. She knew the comment was too revealing, but come on! How could one man so effortlessly find women to love him? It was like he was a magnet that drew women in. Even women he didn't love in return, loved him. He may have loved Laurel, but she knew that Sara had to have loved him to betray her sister that way. She ignored the small voice inside of her that said she was just jealous to know that Shado was yet another woman who haunted Oliver's dreams and nightmares.

Her fear for his well-being, though, eclipsed everything else. He almost died. Again. The first time he'd flatlined in front of her had been bad enough. Now, though, she knew more of who he was. She knew how selfless he was, how pigheaded, how strong, how brave, and how guilt-ridden he was. All things that combined to make him, at times, completely irresistible.

Even though he'd almost died once facing Cyrus and still wasn't back to full strength, he was stubbornly, foolishly willing to risk his life once again. He wanted to go out and face the man yet a second time. She couldn't let him. She had to convince to stay. He'd given enough. His life was _not_ required!

"Where are you going?" she demanded, getting up and moving toward him. "You can't go out there in your condition!"

"I have to stop this," he said in resignation.

"You were left half dead," she reminded him.

"Felicity, I don't have a choice," he said warily.

She looked at him in dismay. Surely, he was joking? There was _always _a choice. His life was more important than anything. Why didn't he know that? Why did she constantly have to remind him of that simple fact?

"I'll come back," he assured her.

"Promise me," she begged him, hating herself for allowing the burden of her fear, her concern to become another weight he carried. Yet she couldn't seem to stop the words. Fear for his life became her sole focus.

Their eyes locked for a moment, words not necessary between them. She wanted something from him. But he couldn't give it to her. Wary but resigned, he walked away.

When he made it back to her uninjured, her relief left her weak. For one long moment, she clung to him.

In this moment, she was happy. Things had worked out. A part of her knew, though, the day would come when he might not come back to her. The risks he took would catch up with him. He could so easily be taken from her. She knew this, so she took pleasure in the simple things. She had to live in each moment.

She gave him the mask Barry had left for him. She could tell Barry's thoughtfulness had touched him. It was rare that anyone gave the man who had everything a gift.

He gifted her with a rare smile. "How do I look?" he wondered.

He was perfect. Absolutely perfect. "Like a hero," she told him. Her hero. Always.

_*****Oliver's P. O.V*****_

When I regained consciousness, I battled for breath, trying to steady my racing heart. Laying eyes on Barry while dressed in my familiar green leather made it painfully clear what Felicity had done. Something I thought she would never do. I would've bet my life on it. In fact, I had. Finding out Felicity had revealed my secret to Barry felt like a betrayal, and the strength of that betrayal burned through my lethargy.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded as I got unsteadily to me feet.

I listened to their explanations but nothing else penetrated but one truth. "You told him who I am!" I accused.

She looked at me unflinchingly. "Yes, I did," she said unapologetic.

"That's not your secret to tell!_ I_ decide who finds out my identity!" I informed her, giving her a look of betrayal. I feared this man who had already lied to us once would run right to the police with news of my identity.

"I trust him!" Felicity insisted.

Of course, she did! Felicity was good and trusting. She had trusted me, hadn't she? I was a man who had done horrible things. I still did them, yet her faith in me was absolute. So forgive me, if her trust in the man didn't inspire confidence in me. Her faith in this man she barely knew upset me even further. "Well, I don't!" I exclaimed.

"What are you going to do? Put an arrow in him?" she asked archly.

I looked at him. "I'm considering it!" I replied harshly.

"He's kidding!" she said just as harshly.

"How is this any different from when your mother shot you and you came to me for help?" she demanded.

I had to look away from her. When I first met her, she could barely look me in the eye. Now she was fearless and relentless. She wouldn't give up, determined to make me let go of my anger, yet I wanted to cling to it.

"Or when you brought Dig down here when he was poisoned?" she continued.

I faced her again, equally determined to make her see why could not make decisions like this. "The difference is I did my homework on both of you!" I yelled, my frustration coming through. "I don't just tell people easily." Didn't she get that? Didn't she know that I didn't get into her car by chance? That I'd been studying her, learning her, discovering everything I could about her? I knew she was the one. The missing piece that could help me complete my mission.

Now, however, I felt so let down. We stood there a moment facing one another, a gulf opening up between us.

Barry stepped forward. "I'm not going to tell anyone," he said. "And you don't have to thank me, but you should thank _her_ instead of being kind of a jerk!"

I gave him a cold look and moved toward him. He flinched. "Mr. Queen," he added quickly. But he didn't back down, earning my grudging respect.

Things seemed to go from bad to worse. My mind betrayed me, my skill did, too. I couldn't be sure of what was real. My demons haunted me even more than before. In my weakness, I turned to Laurel's dad for help. Naturally, my actions almost got him killed. He tried to tell me that I wasn't responsible for every death in the city. I wanted to believe him, but my guilt, my constant companion, was too thick.

Now I had to step up. I had to put Cyrus down. But I wasn't immune to the fear my determination wrought in Felicity. She tried to convince me not to face him again. I tried to assure her I'd be fine. She remained unconvinced.

"I'll come back," I said to her.

"Promise me," she begged me.

I stood there gazing down at her, the normal trite words that usually came so effortlessly to my lips weren't there. She was the only woman in my life I didn't have to lie to. My instinct is always to protect the weak as Yao Fei, Shado's father, had once done with me. Lies offered comfort. They were a form of protection. The proper thing to do was to give her the words she wanted to hear. Tell her that I'd be fine.

But the simple truth was I didn't know that I would make it back to her. Cyrus was much stronger than me. The lie grew bitter on my tongue; I said nothing. I couldn't make Felicity into one of those women. She could never be just another woman I lied to.

I faced me enemy, and I won. For once my demons became my salvation, a vision of Tommy compelling me to my feet. I managed to save Roy. I didn't have to live with the guilt of knowing I'd let my sister's boyfriend die.

When I made it back to the foundry, they were waiting. Diggle and Felicity. My team, my friends, my anchor against the darkness that threatened to engulf me at times.

Felicity's arms went around my neck. Her relief at my return palpable. I returned her embrace, knowing she needed comfort. I could give her this at least.

I was surprised that Barry had left behind a gift for me. I had surely not been very welcoming to him. Once again the man surprised me. He'd done it. He managed to make a mask for me. I let Felicity take the mask from me and put it on. Barry was right. His design was perfect. I could tell by how it fit on my face.

"How do I look?" I asked her.

She gazed at me with pride. "Like a hero," she said softly.

I didn't argue with her. Instead, I drew comfort from her faith in me. I put on the hood, determined to not let her down.

_*****Barry's P.O.V*****_

Barry knew he was taking a major risk worming his way into the investigation in Starling City under false pretenses. However, he owed it to his father to keep pushing until he uncovered the truth that would set his father free. When he went to Queen Consolidated's warehouse where a break-in had occurred, he never thought he'd meet someone like Felicity Smoak. She was both pretty and brilliant. The more time he spent with her that day and the next, the more he liked her. She smiled so warmly at him that he thought, for once, his feelings were reciprocated.

Then she made that casual remark about Oliver taking up her nights, and he realized she was taken. However, she quickly explained that wasn't what she meant. Felicity was like him; she sometimes had trouble saying the right thing. It was one of the things he found so charming about her. When Oliver Queen uncovered his deception, he thought she would hate him. Yet once again, she surprised him. She defended him to Mr. Queen, and Mr. Queen called him later to invite him to a party at his mansion.

Barry couldn't believe how beautiful she looked in that pink dress. He just knew he was going to make a fool out of himself. But there was something about her. He sensed she was a kindred spirit. Awkward encounters and faux pas were things she knew a little something about. Her kindness drew him in. So he had his perfect dance, his perfect evening with the perfect woman. Then they focused on his reason for being in her life to begin with: the case.

The case that brought him to her city led to the revelation that Oliver Queen was the vigilante. He was not the billionaire playboy he pretended to be. No, he was so much more. He was someone that Barry admired and respected. And Felicity was the only woman in Oliver's life that knew who he was. Now Barry knew Oliver Queen would never be just an employee to her. How could he be? Barry tried to ask her once again if Oliver was more than the friend she claimed that he was. And once again, Felicity insisted she had no romantic feelings for him. However, Barry knew better.

"I just have a little experience with liking someone that doesn't see you the same way," he told her. The look in her eyes then made him inclined to believe that she'd been working hard at denying what she felt for the tragic hero of Starling City. His doubt in simple friendship between them first began when she begged him to save Oliver's life. He could see then the desperation in her eyes. Oliver Queen wasn't just a friend to Felicity. For some reason, Barry doubted Oliver could ever be just that to her.

Here was a woman he thought he could really like, and who could really like him. She got him like no woman ever had. Instantly, it seemed. However, he didn't want to go down a road with another girl who would always love someone more than he. So he watched and listened.

He listened to Felicity's small display of jealousy and disapproval that another woman had been with him on the island. He listened and watched as she became more and more concerned with Oliver's behavior and safety. He watched as she showed no fear at confronting Oliver, one of the deadliest people Barry had ever met, yet she stood before him unafraid, confident that he would never hurt her. She was equally confident that Oliver would never hurt him either. When Oliver glared at him, Barry wasn't quite so sure.

When Oliver insisted on facing Cyrus in his weakened condition, Felicity got out of her chair to make her appeal. Her fear for his safety was tangible. She pleaded with him not to go. Barry couldn't quite discern if Oliver returned her regard. It was apparent, however, that Oliver couldn't bring himself to give her false promises of his safe return. He obviously respected Felicity's intelligence too much to leave her with empty promises. Watching the two of them, Barry knew that he would never really have a chance with Felicity. He gave her one small look of regret for what could've been. In the end, though, he knew that Felicity would always go into any room and see Oliver Queen first. He would always be first in her life and in her heart. Oliver Queen and his mission would eclipse everyone else.

Barry Allen would never allow himself to be a second choice. Not with someone that mattered. So he left Starling City happy that he'd made some new friends. If he was disappointed in how things ended up with Felicity, he never told her. He even offered to take her out if she should ever get tired of waiting for Oliver to notice her. Unfortunately, Barry knew that she never would. Oliver needed her and Starling City needed him. This Barry knew.

****_*The End*****_

_I'd love to read your reviews over this. If you enjoyed it, let me know. Follow me if you want to be notified of my new Arrow story. I am currently working on a multi-chapter Arrow story that will be a fun read. Thanks so much for reading!_


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